


Thaumaturge

by gestalt (merlin91)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 00:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/830856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlin91/pseuds/gestalt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has been shunned, persecuted and hunted since his birth. He is all alone now, having lost his family to magic-haters. Being the most powerful warlock ever is lonely.<br/>Can an arrogant, magic-hating prince help him to find a safe life, and maybe more?</p><p>AU as in Merlin never came to Camelot, but life in Camelot proceeded as Canon till 3x10. Some Arthur/Gwen in the beginning, but eventual Arthur/Merlin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'ed, so please be kind!

The roaring of the crowds thundered like the heavens were opening up. The furious anger, fear, _hatred_ could practically be tasted in the air. The pyres were erected site by side, trembling men and women and even children tied to the wooden masts. 

Merlin sat crouched behind a boulder, hidden by bushes. Tear tracks could be seen visibly on his dirt encrusted face. He wiped at the stray tears that escaped his rigid control with the sleeve of his tattered tunic, praying for help to come, for assistance just once in his life. The people who were about to die were part of his family. They’d taken him in when he’d been abandoned to die after a bandit attack in Ealdor had left him an orphan. He'd been with them when King Uther's purge had reached even the far away lands on the border of Camelot. They'd protected him when he'd been shunned and persecuted, helped him when he'd been hunted. They were good people. Their only fault was to not be a magic-hater. Merlin didn’t understand this world, didn’t understand how so much evil could befall the pure. 

The smell of burning wood came alongside the first heartbreaking scream. Merlin shut his eyes tightly and covered his ears with his hands. He couldn’t bear to be orphaned again, but he was helpless to do anything. His magic was fizzing and sparking all along his arms and fingertips, but he reined it in. If he attacked right now, the mob would overwhelm him. He wished he’d been able to get here sooner, wished he could have done something, _anything_ to protect them. The screams got louder, and soon the smell of burning flesh surrounded him, making him gag. He knew he should leave, but his heart was heavy with grief, and the pain didn’t allow him to abandon his dying family. He stayed there; hiding, crying, till the last of the screams died down, and only the crackling of wood could be heard. 

The twig snapping right next to his hiding place jolted him out of his stupor. Before he could scramble up, a shout was heard, “There’s one left! Get here!” Merlin got up in a flash and began to run, his tunic tearing where it got caught in the brambles. He tripped, nearly falling but somehow righted himself up and ran, harder than he’d ever run. Loud, angry footsteps could be heard pattering behind him, and he ran even faster. He skidded to a stop when he came to the edge of the valley, with a fast-flowing river at its heart. Without stopping to think, he jumped off the edge of the cliff onto the other side, closing his eyes and praying that his magic would safely deliver him to the far side. He stumbled as his legs slammed into the side of the mountain, and frantically scrambled for a hold. Pulling himself up safely, he turned, his arm covering his face, and looked at the furious crowd gathered on the other side, some even wanting to attempt the same jump as he did, but wisely not trying to attempt it. Breathing hard, he stood there, listening to the frustrated shouts. He was safe, for now at least, but that didn’t mean he would be forever. He had to get to safety somehow; so he turned and ran.

******************

 

“You’re beautiful, you know,” Arthur whispered to Gwen, gently brushing back her curls from her forehead.

Gwen smiled up at him, and let him pull her up against him, and kiss her deeply. She was content here, outside the walls of Camelot. This picnic had been a good idea; she must remember to thank Morgana for that later. She’d been acting strangely, lately; and Arthur too had been too stressed after firing his millionth manservant. Gwen wondered why the Prince was unable to keep any servant for longer than a month; he was extremely sweet and courteous with her, but he wasn’t that way with the others. She didn’t understand how the same person could be so nice and be a bully too at once. Anyway, she had her Prince to herself for once and she was going to enjoy this day to its full.

Arthur bent her back gently; laying her on the blanket covered ground, he settled half on and half off her. They slowly kissed for a while, enjoying the closeness after the days spent apart. Just as Arthur placed his hand on her breast, squeezing softly, a loud crunching noise came from nearby. 

Arthur shot up, hand immediately going to his waist where the sword was still strapped on. Gwen sat up slowly, turning and looking in the direction of the noise. No other sound came from there. They both started to relax, and Arthur turned and grinned down at her. “It was probably a scared little rabbit,” he said in a light tone and began to sit, intending to resume their previous activities. That was when a figure stumbled out of the bushes. 

“Arthur!” Gwen gasped.

Arthur stopped and turned, fluidly drawing his sword by the time he finished turning. He fell back in the defensive stance, ready to attack, but then he actually looked at the figure.

It was wearing a threadbare robe, frayed and extremely muddy. The face was covered by a veil, only the upper part visible, but Arthur couldn’t make out anything since it was standing in the shadows. The figure was trembling, seemingly on the verge of collapsing, but staying alert to deal with the threat of them. They clutched a branch, sharpened by hand it seemed and had it aimed at them. Arthur could hear Gwen getting up behind him and he signaled at her to stay back. They looked harmless, instead seemed to be more afraid of them. Slowly, Arthur sheathed his sword to show the stranger he meant no harm.

“Who’re you?” he called out to it.

The figure slowly stepped forward into the sun, raising their head slightly. It was looking at Gwen, who despite his advice, had come to stand beside him. Gwen hesitantly smiled at it, showing that they meant no harm. Slowly, it swiveled around to face Arthur, and he gasped softly. A pair of dazzling blue eyes, bluer than anything he’d ever seen in his life, stared back at him.

“I’m Merlin.”


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur was sitting on a tree-stump quietly sharpening his sword. He glanced at where a still sleeping Merlin lay, huddled in Arthur’s cloak. 

Arthur thought back to earlier that day, when he’d seen the veiled man step out and introduce himself, clearly tired but with still alert blazing blue eyes. Gwen had stepped forward and introduced them.

“Hello. My name is Guinevere, but you can call me Gwen. This is Prince Arthur-“

Merlin stiffened. “Prince Arthur did you say? Arthur _Pendragon_?” he interrupted Gwen, panicked eyes flitting over to where Arthur stood, bemused.

Gwen glanced towards Arthur too, and replied, “Yes, that is him.”

“Damn it, damn it, why can’t I just catch a break?” Merlin muttered to himself, gripping his make-shift weapon tighter. “So,” he said with forced cheer to a bewildered looking Gwen and a still perplexed Arthur, “Nice to make your acquaintance good folks, I must be on my way now, enjoy your day, goodbye!” Saying that, he turned to leave.

“Wait! You’re in no position to go anywhere, you look half-dead on your feet, and as if you’ve been starving for days! Please, just sit for a while and we’ll take you to Camelot where our court physician can-“

While Arthur was rolling his eyes at Gwen’s goodness of the heart and inherent kindness to even strangers, Merlin interrupted her again. “ _Camelot_? No way in blazing hell am I ever stepping foot in Camelot!”

That got Arthur’s attention real fast. “And why the hell not? It is a fine kingdom with a worthy king!” he proudly said, straightening till he stood taller.

Merlin snorted at that. “A fine kingdom it may be, but a worthy king it has not.”

“You sniveling little piece of shit! How dare you insult my father and the king to my face? I’ll have you in jail for that!” Arthur stepped forward, furious at the audacity of this strange man, and ready to beat some sense into him.

“Like this you arrogant cabbage-head. Open your ears wider and listen carefully- Uther Pendragon is the worst king in all the five kingdoms. He doesn’t deserve to rule. He should abdicate! Everyone will be better off without him on that throne!” Merlin shouted back at Arthur, standing taller as if insulting Arthur’s father somehow infused energy in him.

Gwen gasped at this, and frantically rushed to stand in front of an enraged Arthur, who was this close to punching Merlin. “Arthur no! Stop please. He’s clearly exhausted and delusional. We must help him, not hurt him!”

“Help him? Did you not listen to what he just said? he insulted my honor!” 

“Yes, but he’s clearly not in his right state of mind. Please don’t do this. I know you are better that this,” Gwen pleaded softly.

“Okay fine. But I’m beating the crap out of him once he gets better,” Arthur said darkly, glaring at Merlin.

With a sigh of relief, Gwen stepped back, letting go of his arm. She turned to look at Merlin, who had a smug look on his face, but whose eyes clearly betrayed the fear and panic present in his tightly coiled body.

“Okay Merlin, all right. We won’t take you to Camelot, but will you please just sit down with us and rest? You clearly need it, and I promise no harm will come to you,” Gwen said, smiling at him encouragingly.  
Merlin glanced at the still livid prince, and clearly hesitant to stay, shuffled his feet. “I cannot impose. I’m sorry for interrupting you. I’ll just be on my way-“. Gwen was getting ready to appeal to him again. “No look-”

And that’s when Merlin fainted.

She rushed forward to where he’d tumbled over, turning him over onto his back gently. Arthur sighed to himself. Great, this was just what he’d needed. Complaining internally, he went over to help Gwen who was busy in removing the veil off Merlin, revealing his neck and pale skin which was covered in dirt. She brought over the water-skin and wetting a rag she produced from Lord knew where, proceeded to wipe at this forehead and face. She was tutting under her breath, murmuring things like, “You poor child,” to him gently. 

Arthur stared in amazement as she mothered over a complete stranger. She was truly wonderful. Smiling to himself, he glanced at the now clean face lying in front of him and studied it carefully. Sharp cheekbones jutted out gracefully from an angular face. Dark lashes fanned over the cheeks, emphasizing the paleness of the skin. Lush, luscious lips complemented the angularity of the face perfectly. Arthur blinked. What the hell had he just been thinking? Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he concentrated on Gwen, who it seemed had finished up cleaning him.

“Here, give me you cloak. We have to bundle him up. He’s burning up. Clearly he has fever. I’ll have to go to Camelot to fetch Gaius. You stay here with Merlin; I’ll be back with him soon.”

“What, no! You’re not going anywhere. I don’t understand why we need to cater to his whims. I say we take him to Camelot now, “Arthur said. They argued for a long time, and finally Arthur accepted defeat.

“Fine. I’ll stay here with him, but you return with Gaius in the morning. It’s already approaching evening, so it won’t be safe to ride back and forth.”

Gwen agreed and saddled up. With a quick kiss, she trotted off towards Camelot.

Arthur sighed to himself as he took in the still unconscious Merlin. Guess he really had been exhausted. Seeing as he’d be having an impromptu night out, Arthur set about building a fire. When he had it nicely going, he spread one of the blankets on one side of the fire and then went to where Merlin lay and after much thought and dithering, picked him up. Surprisingly, he was far lighter than he looked, and Arthur could practically feel the bones in his back as he carried him over to the fire and laid him there. He covered him up with his cloak as per Gwen’s instructions and then went over to his side of the fire and sat down. 

Sighing to himself again, he took out his sword to sharpen it. He was in for a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still un-betaed!

Arthur woke up to murmuring across the clearing. He raised his head and squinted across the dying embers of the fire to see Gaius and Guinevere bent over that strange boy. Exhaling softly, he looked around to see it was still dark; not even first light and Guinevere was already here with Gaius. Her kindness and dedication truly amazed him at times-that was one of the reasons why he loved her so.  


He got up with a rustle, and made his way over to them, hearing snatches of conversation in between. “His leg seems to be infected. This is a deep wound Gwen, we must clean it-“. “Oh my, look at his back and here at his wrists-“. “-Looks like he was kept captive somewhere-” “-Most likely tortured-“.  


Arthur stood beside Gaius and cleared his throat. Both Gaius and Gwen straightened immediately and Gaius acknowledged him with a nod. 

“Sire. This young man has serious infection in his leg wound due to which the fever is not abating at all. If I don’t get it cleaned immediately, it’ll most likely result in him losing the use of his leg. And his feet are badly torn and shredded in places-as if he had been running barefoot for a long time.”  


“So, what do you suggest we do Gaius?” Arthur asked, slightly guilty of his earlier behavior towards Merlin.  


“I believe that we must take him to Camelot to treat his properly. Or else he may die.” Gaius declared.  


Gwen nodded fervently, biting her lip when Arthur glanced at her.  


“Okay fine, we’ll take him home,” Arthur relented. Gaius and Arthur rolled Merlin up in the sheets Gaius had brought and placed him carefully on a horse, which Arthur then straddled. Gwen packed up the rest of the things and soon all of them were on their way to Camelot.

*********

Three days later at training, Arthur sustained a direct hit to his shoulder from Sir Leon. Even though he triumphed ultimately, his mood was sour for the entire day as his shoulder kept twinging at odd moments. Finally fed up of the pain, he made his way to Gaius’s chambers.  


Knocking, he entered to an empty room. Finding no one inside, he was about to leave when he heard a noise from the inner chamber. Curious, he made his way there and slowly pushed the door open. The sight that greeted him made him pause in surprise. It was that Melrin, Melvin, something- guy, good Lord he’d _completely_ forgotten about him. He didn’t even know that he was still there in the castle. He was sleeping on his back, covered from head to toe in thick blankets. He looked sweaty, and was thrashing around a little, seemingly in pain. Arthur looked back once more to see if Gaius had arrived, and then hesitatingly stepped over to him. He laid a hand on his brow to get him to ease his thrashing a little and it looked like it helped as Merlrin, Melvin, whatever-, immediately calmed down. He was on his side now, and the covers had slipped down to his waist, exposing his bare chest and back. Arthur studied him thoughtfully, eyes roving over the healing scars around his neck, as if someone had collared him, or tried to strangle him; the reddish marks on his wrists, the whip-like marks on his back…what in the world had happened to this guy? Arthur kneeled down next to the bed to try and get a look at his face. He stared at the bobbing Adam’s apple as the guy swallowed noisily in his sleep and raised his eyes to the face above. He looked- peaceful, yet there was tension around the eyes, as if even in sleep, there was no rest for him. Arthur didn’t know why, but his face was strangely captivating.  


The opening of the outer door startled Arthur out of his staring and he jumped up, quickly coming out to find Gaius putting down his medicine bag. Gaius looked up and was clearly surprised to see him. “Sire! I didn’t know you’d be here? Was there something you needed?”  


“Um, no- actually yes, I bruised my shoulder today during training and wanted something to relieve it. Also,” he continued as Gaius immediately went over to his cabinet and took out a glass vial and handed it over to Arthur, “The boy back there? He’s still here? He’s not healed yet?”  


Gaius sighed heavily. “No, I’m afraid not. I’ve tried all my potions and medicines but they don’t seem to be working. I believe his body’s shutting down. It’s sad, considering what the boy has been through.”  


Arthur was shocked to hear that. “He’s dying?” he questioned, alarmed.  


“Yes, I’m afraid so.”  


It seemed so unreal, to hear that. Arthur didn’t know why he suddenly cared so much about the well-being of a stranger whose name he didn’t even remember. He’d forgotten about him completely since he’d come back from that ill-fated picnic, swamped as he was in his duties, but learning that he was going to die seemed so unfair. Arthur could still clearly see the way the boy’s eyes had flashed up at him, the incredible _blueness_ of them, and the way they seemed to be lit by an inner fire. It seemed unthinkable that he’d never get to see those eyes blink up at him again. Suddenly feeling heavy, he took Gaius’s leave without a word and headed back to his chamber. He ran into Gwen in the corridor, but even her bright smile seemed to be dull this evening. He didn’t understand why he was feeling so sad, but there had been something about that boy, something that Arthur had not seen in anyone else ever. He had been like a breath of fresh air, and Arthur had been horrible to him. Maybe it was guilt he was feeling. Maybe. But what was the point in feeling guilty now?  


With a heavy heart, Arthur slept.


	4. Chapter 4

Gaius decided to check up on Merlin before partaking supper. The boy was still unconscious, and there seemed to be little improvement in his condition. Sighing to himself, Gaius wet a cloth and placed it on Merlin’s forehead. The fever not abating was at least a positive sign; a sign that the body was fighting back. Looking at the troubled features before him, Gaius was reminded of an old friend who was long lost to him now. Was this, perhaps, Balinor’s son? There was no way of knowing that, till the boy regained consciousness. Hoping to himself that he was wrong, Gaius returned to the outer chamber, leaving a sleeping Merlin to rest.

An hour or so past midnight, Gaius was awakened to crashing noises and muted screams. Jolting awake quickly, he hurried to Merlin’s room. Opening the door, he stood there on the threshold, stunned to his core. Merlin was thrashing in his bed, screaming and mumbling strings of words Gaius couldn’t make out. Every single piece of furniture, all the clothes and books and everything excluding Merlin himself was levitating in the air. Gaius gaped, mouth dropping open as he registered that Merlin’s eyes were wide open- and _golden_. Dear Lord, Gaius thought, he had been right about his parentage it seems. This boy possessed magic, and he was in _Camelot_. His friend’s son, the friend who Gaius had been unable to help, during the Great Purge. Tears sprung up in his tired old eyes as he gazed down at the boy who would have been like a son to him had things not unfolded the way they had. Merlin’s screams increased in volume, prompting Gaius from his nostalgic memories. He rushed forward, and held the boy’s shoulders down. “Merlin, Merlin,” Gaius shook him awake, and held the golden gaze which turned on him head on. “It’s all right. It’s okay. It was just a dream, you’re safe now,” he said gently. 

The gold slowly faded to bright blue, and Merlin was finally awake. He stared at Gaius, confused. “Who’re you?” he croaked out, voice rough due to disuse and all the screaming he had done.

Gaius smiled down at him, smoothing his hair back. The fever had broken. Merlin would live, he thought gratefully. “I’m Gaius. I’m the court physician of Camelot?”

“Camelot? I’m in Camelot?” the boy wheezed out, panic in his eyes. 

“Yes, you are. Prince Arthur and Gwen, the two people you met a week ago in the woods brought you here. You fainted, probably due to dehydration and starvation. You’ve been unconscious since then, battling high fever. I feared for your life. The fever just broke, and thank the gods, you’ll live,” he reassuringly said.

“No, no. I cannot stay here. Not safe here. Must go, must go from Camelot,” Merlin was mumbling, trying to get up.

“Merlin, Merlin!” Gaius said firmly, catching the frantic gaze. “It is okay. You’re safe here. No one knows about your magic.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “How-what, how...” he sputtered, voice breaking with fear.

“You levitated everything in this room, just minutes ago- an effect of your nightmare. And you look familiar. Tell me; are you not Hunith’s boy?”

“Levitated…? And did you say Hunith?” Merlin whispered. He paused, as if assaulted by memories of a haunted past. “It’s been years since I last heard the name. She died, when I was but a few summers old. And yes, I’m her son. How-?”

“Hunith’s dead?” Gaius interrupted, stunned. “My apologies; I didn’t know that. I thought she yet lived. And as to the answer to the question how I knew your parents, it’s a long story. A story I would gladly tell you, when you are able again.”

“My parents? I knew only my mother. Do you know who my father is?” the question was asked, in a voice full of wonder and hope.

“Yes. Yes I knew him. He was a fine man, and a finer friend.”

“Do you know where he is?” Merlin asked, hope stirring in his face.

Gaius paused, crestfallen. “No, dear boy, it has been a long time since I saw him. He’d be dead if he ever again stepped foot in Camelot.”

“He was a citizen of Camelot?” Merlin asked, shocked.

“Citizen? Oh no…no. He was no mere citizen! He was a Dragonlord. The most powerful and the best of his kind. And now he’s the last of his kind too,” Gaius sighed out.

“Dragonlord?” Merlin asked, clearly confused. He had stated to fade, eyes drooping, his efforts clearly taking toll on his weakened body.

“Yes, and I will tell you all about it, when you are in better health. For now, rest,” Gaius said softly.

Merlin nodded slowly, and settled back down. Gaius tucked him in after giving him the last dosage of his medicine, and stood looking at him for a few moments. He really did remind him of both Balinor and Hunith. Poor child, to have suffered so much. Taking a deep breath, Gaius turned to go.

“Gaius?” Merlin called out softly.

“Yes, my boy?” Gaius said, turning to gaze at Merlin.

“It was good to meet you,” Merlin said, a small smile gracing his face.

“It was good to meet you too, my boy,” Gaius replied, an answering smile on his face.

Turning, Gaius made his way out, a resolve strengthening in his heart. He had failed Balinor, but he won't make the same mistake again.

He'd protect Merlin with his life, he swore to himself.


	5. Chapter 5

The sunlight shining directly into his eyes woke Merlin up. He kept his eyes closed, and let his magic reach out, checking for threats. It was a habit by now, made necessary by the many ambushes he had faced while being asleep; a necessity borne due to living a life on the run. It was then that he remembered- he was no longer on the run. He was in Camelot. Breath quickening, he slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room he was in. The bed he slept on was uncomfortable, but a real bed nonetheless. It was a luxury he had only experienced ages ago, the memory of it fading from mind. Still looking around, he slowly got up, and noticed a neatly folded faded tunic and a pair of breeches draped on a chair beside the bed. Shrugging, he quickly put the clothes on, feeling reasonably human again. Running a hand through his untamed locks, he made his way towards the door and stepped out.

Gaius, who had been busy stirring something in a pot simmering on the stove, turned and beamed at the sight of him. Merlin hesitatingly smiled back. This man knew about his deepest secret, and held the power of Merlin’s life in his withered hands. One word, even a hint and Uther’s men would hunt him down and kill him. Last night, Merlin had been delirious. Probably the reason why he didn’t freak out about the fact that he had revealed himself. But in his heart of hearts, Merlin knew it was not the reason; the reason had been Gaius’s kind words and warm, gentle touch. It had been many years since Merlin had received a kind word from a complete stranger, and that had lowered his defenses. Added to that the fact that this man here knew more about him and his parents made him one of the last people on earth who actually _knew_ Merlin. All the others who did so were either dead, or on the run, just like he had been.

“Come, my boy. Eat. It is good to see the color returned to your face,” Gaius smiled as he pattered around, setting out plates for both of them. Merlin slowly sat down, pulling the bowl and plate towards him. Food; and that too hot food. Merlin’s mouth watered and before he knew, he had gobbled down half the contents. Gaius was looking down at him fondly, and gently chided him to slow down lest he choke. The nearly exact tone and words had Merlin shocked. He looked up, and stared at Gaius. 

“What?” Gaius asked.

“My mother used to say the same thing, in the exact same way,” he replied, a lump forming in his throat.

Gaius’s smile dimmed. “Ah, yes. Hunith used to tell that to me, every time I sat down to eat with her. I loved her cooking- she made the best bread and cakes I’ve ever eaten. I guess I picked up the words from her.”

Merlin smiled at the memory it evoked- his mother, in her threadbare apron but warm smiles; her work-roughened yet still gentle hands cradling his face; her affectionate words soothing his fears; her tiny body, so fragile yet so strong at the same time, holding him close…what he wouldn’t give to embrace her once again.

Blinking back the tears that sprung up at the memories, Merlin asked Gaius to tell him all that he knew about her, and about his father. Gaius sighed, but as promised, he nodded and began to tell the tale of a great king called Uther, and how the love for his wife Igraine had made him the greatest king these lands had ever seen. He used to be friends with everyone back then-even with powerful sorcerers like Nimueh, and with Dragonlords like Balinor. But that same love, when taken from him in a twist of fate unimagined by any man, turned him into the most heartless king in the history of mankind. He begot a son from all the madness that heralded the start of the Great Purge, and that was probably the only reason why he didn’t go totally mad with grief, but even that didn’t stop him from rounding on all he perceived as guilty for his loss. It had been a massacre, a genocide to be more precise, as all the magic users, and even their sympathizers, were brutally hunted down and killed. Gaius himself used to practice magic back then but he promised to Uther that he’d give it up, for little motherless Arthur’s sake. He helped as many as he could, including a pregnant Hunith, but he failed to help Balinor, who Uther tricked and trapped along with the great dragon Kilgarrah. Balinor somehow managed to escape, and had never been seen in Camelot again since then. 

Merlin sat clutching his spoon in his fist, tears running down his face. His father was alive! All his life, he had searched for a man who he had never met, about whom he’d never heard anything from his mother. His father hadn’t willingly abandoned him; he had been forced to do so. A blame that once again rested on Uther Pendragon. That man was the reason Merlin had grown up fatherless, the reason Merlin was now motherless, the reason why he had been hunted, and persecuted and shunned from everywhere in every corner of the five kingdoms. The rage that burned through him at the moment surprised him at its intensity. Merlin would have his revenge one day, he vowed to himself.

Sensing the dark thoughts running through him, Gaius leaned over and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Merlin, I know you feel that Uther has destroyed your life. He probably has done that. But know that it was only a misguided deed on his part.”

“He destroyed me entire life! How can you say that so calmly? He killed your friends!” Merlin shouted.

“I’m not condoning Uther his crimes. I’m trying to get you to see that he made a mistake. He’s but a man and-“

“A _mistake_?” Merlin spluttered.

“Yes,” Gaius continued calmly. “A mistake. A very deadly one, with a far heavier price to pay. He was a king Merlin. Always know that the mistakes of the ones in power- they’re far deadlier than the mistakes of the ones who’re not, and they cost more too, to everyone involved.”

“Then he should be removed from his power! I’ll gladly see to that!”

“Merlin! That is treasonous talk and it will get you killed!” Gaius snapped.

“Uther’s no king of mine!” Merlin snarled back.

“I know, but he is mine. Merlin, you have to understand- I used to know the man before his hate twisted him. I have never known a truer love than that between Uther and Igraine. Had Igraine but survived, this kingdom would have reached unparalleled heights. Yes, it is Uther’s machinations which cost him his wife, but he didn’t know that. He _didn’t know_ , Merlin, he didn’t know better.”

“And that makes it okay? That makes it okay for him to kill everyone who he thinks wronged him, when he is the one in the wrong? That makes it okay for him to break up families, to leave children orphans and parents childless?” Merlin asked quietly, voice rough with emotion.

“It doesn’t dear boy, it doesn’t. But it makes him human. He’s fallible. We can only try to change his mind and then perhaps his heart would heal too.”

“You really think that can happen? The ban on magic lifted?” Merlin whispered.

“I do. Magic is tied to the very ground on which Camelot stands. It will be returned to it one day Merlin. One day, magic will again flourish in Camelot, and it’ll once again be the pride of Albion.” Gaius said, hope shining in his eyes.

Swallowing hard, Merlin calmed a little. Maybe the future would be brighter. He too hoped so.

“Thank you Gaius, for sharing everything with me. I had known nothing about my father before today.”

“None required, dear boy. It had been a long-overdue talk.” Gaius smiled at him. They returned to their breakfast, hearts a little lighter after the emotional conversation, and made small talk. 

“I’ll leave, come morning tomorrow then,” Merlin said, scraping the last of his soup from the bowl. 

“Leave? You won’t stay?” Gaius asked, crestfallen.

“Stay? In Camelot? I must say Gaius, you have taken leave of your senses. Did you not hear the speech I just made against Uther?” Merlin joked.

“I heard, and no, I’m in full possession of them. I’m well aware what risks are there for a person like you to remain here. But what choice do you have? A life, forever on the run? That is no life!”

“I will search for my father, now that I know of him! I will seek him out, learn what he has to teach me, be a family once again,” Merlin said desperately.

“Balinor wouldn’t have wanted such a life for you. It is a dangerous world out there Merlin-“

“A fact I’m quite well aware of, as evident from the myriad scars on my person,” Merlin interrupted.

“-and it is also not safe to be alone out there, without the comfort of a roof over your head, and food on your plate,” Gaius said pleadingly.

Merlin paused, the truth of the words washing over him like a bucket of cold water, waking him to the reality of his situation; he remembered all the long nights spent hiding from seeking patrols, sleeping on the hard forest floor, stomach growling due to days-long hunger pangs. “What do I do then?” he asked Gaius quietly. “Do I stay here, beneath the roof of the very man who was the reason I lost mine? Do I _hide_ here? What would you have me do, Gaius?”

“I would have you live, and strengthen your frail body. I would have you get better. I would have you stay here, and make a home out of this place with an old man, who has not been blessed with a son,” Gaius whispered, with tears his eyes.

Merlin looked startled at the emotion contained in his eyes. “You held my parents in that great regard?”

“And they in me greater still; yet I failed to honor that regard and it haunts me Merlin, it haunts me. I wish you to stay here, so that I may yet save your life and see you safe; so that when I greet your parents in the afterlife, I can look into their eyes without being ashamed.”

Neither spoke for a long moment, both thinking back on the past. “I may yet prove to be of use to you. I can help you to control your magic!” Gaius said after a beat.

“Control magic? You mean like this?” Merlin asked, as he snapped his fingers. Fire erupted around them in a perfect circle, enclosing them in heat and light. Whooshing flames leapt around, twisting and writhing, but nothing caught fire.

“What- how- how did you do that?” Gaius asked, stunned. They fire stayed in its circle, and Gaius could feel the heat upon his person, and the edge of his robes was actually _in_ the flames, yet it didn’t catch fire.

Merlin half smiled. “I thought of it? I’m not exactly sure how I do things, considering the fact that I never learnt magic. I just will them to be and they are.” He reached out and touched the flames, and made a little fist in them. A part of the flame was cupped in his hand when he turned around to face a shocked Gaius, and it was changing shapes rapidly, even as Merlin simply looked at it. Catching the look on Gaius’s face, he laughed. “No, no, I’m not mad. It doesn’t burn, see?” He held his palm out to Gaius. Gaius hesitatingly reached out his own. A gasp escaped his lips when the little ball of fire slid right onto his palm and sat there, pulsing with warmth, and nothing more. 

Gaius stared at it in amazement, and he looked at a smiling Merlin in awe. “You’ve never studied magic yet you wield it like one far greater of age. You don’t need spells to do magic. I’ve never seen such a thing in my entire life! You, my dear boy, are remarkable. I don’t have anything to teach you I’m afraid, but I do have something to give you, something I had saved during the Great Purge. It may still be of help to you.”

Merlin waved his hand and the fire died down, leaving no trace at all. Gaius smiled at him, the beauty of the magic he had witnessed bringing back days of the past, when such things, though rare in appearance, could still be seen. He fetched out a book he had secreted away years ago, and held it out for Merlin to take. He watched as Merlin opened it, and saw the joy of realization that spread across his face. 

“Gaius! This is a book of magic!” Merlin exclaimed in amazement. “I will learn everything that is in here; I will read it from cover to cover!” He looked up then at a Gaius who was looking at him with fond eyes. “I’ll make you proud, I promise,” he whispered sincerely. Gaius hugged him then, smiling proudly with tears of happiness in his eyes.

And standing there in Gaius's loving embrace, for the first time, in a long time, Merlin felt at home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: A little swearing!

Merlin rushed about frantically, vial of medicine clutched firmly in hand, while a bag of others was slung across his chest. Gaius had sent notice for him to come immediately to the lower town, where he had gone to attend a delivery. Merlin was serving as his assistant now that he had decided to stay in Camelot, and frankly, Gaius was a _slave-driver_. He made Merlin get up at ungodly hours of the morning and took him to nearby forests to collect essential herbs and such, and then he would make him learn to recognize each of them, first by sight, smell and touch, and then by the feel of his magic alone. Gaius had said that Merlin was too powerful to keep his magic caged within Camelot at all times, and that this would be the best way “to exercise it, Merlin! To exercise it.” Merlin ended up exhausted within an hour of ‘exercising’ his magic, and it took all his remaining energy, not to argue with Gaius at pushing him so hard, and so fast. He was still healing, and very slowly at that, probably the reason why he felt so sluggish all the time. But he knew Gaius was right, and that was the reason he too pushed himself harder. His magic didn’t like to be left unused for long periods, and Merlin liked to use it for small things that tended to his comfort, but Gaius had forbidden Merlin to ever practice it within the walls of Camelot. He said he was glad no one came in during the ‘extravagant display’ Merlin had put on when he showed Gaius his control.

Serving as his assistant meant that Merlin had to double up as a delivery boy too, and that was the reason he was now running, to fetch Gaius his medicines. _Crazy old man_ , Merlin was thinking to himself when he rounded a corner and crashed bodily into someone.

Merlin bounced back from the impact, his arm slamming against the corner of the wall with a sharp crack, and he crumbled down, a cry of pain escaping his lips as he cradled it to his chest. The bag across his chest fell open and all the vials scattered on the floor. “Ow, fuck,” Merlin exclaimed when he tried to move his hand. 

“You!” he heard someone gasp.

Keeping his arm steady, Merlin looked up ready to tear a new one into the careless idiot who had crashed into him, and locked eyes with none other than the fucking Prince of Camelot himself. “Oh joy!” he said sarcastically.

Blue eyes bored down at him. “You yet live? Gaius had said you were all but lost, last i talked with him.” Just the sound of the voice of the arrogant twat, and the way he was staring at him made Merlin’s hackles rise up. “Yes, I still live. Unfortunate for you I think.”

“Very unfortunate indeed. I would have thought that that the world would be a better place when it was rid of the likes of you.” Blondie snarled back.

“Ha. _You_ would think that, wouldn’t you?” Merlin sneered, tilting his head to the side and making a show of looking Arthur up and down. “Like father, like son.”

He could see from the way his jaw tightened that he had hit a sore spot with the Prince. “You cannot address me like that,” he snapped back. 

“I can’t? Who said that I can’t?”

“I say so. I’m the Crown Prince of this city, and you stand beneath my roof. Don’t forget your place!”

“Doesn’t matter to me if you are the King himself, Blondie. I am not your slave, and will not bow down to your whims or follow your stupid laws.”

“You insolent little-“

Merlin made a show of yawning widely, and bit back a grin at the furious look on Arthur’s face when he was so insulted. It was fun, winding up the Prince.

“I will have your hide!” Arthur was telling angrily. Merlin actually grinned at that. He spread out his hands on either side of himself, wincing at the pain the action caused him, but winding up Blondie was worth it. “Go ahead then. See, I’ll even make myself a bigger target, so that you won’t miss,” he said, smiling beatifically up at Arthur.

Arthur was looking down at him in indignant surprise. “Have you lost your mind completely? I am the best warrior in the entire five kingdoms, a fact that is perhaps well known to you, and yet you challenge me? I can pull you apart with one blow!”

“And I can do that to you with far less, milord,” Merlin said, smile slipping, as his eyes hardened. “I do not fear you, _Crown Prince_ Arthur Pendragon.”

Arthur was looking at him strangely, anger a little subdued but still there. Merlin stared back, eyes still hard. To be honest, Blondie was quite handsome, very...princely-looking. His blonde hair was falling across his forehead perfectly, and his eyes were a smoldering blue, made more so by the intense look in them. Merlin slowly stood up, clutching his arm once again. A throbbing in his leg made itself known at that moment and he would've fallen down again, if not for Arthur’s lightening fast reflexes. He had caught Merlin by an arm across the shoulder and the warmth of his hand on it, felt even through his gloves and Merlin’s tunic and jacket, came as a pleasant surprise. He looked at the man, surprised at the fact that he had helped him, and found a similar look mirrored on his face. They stared at each other for a while, Merlin cradling his hand to his chest while Arthur held him up with his arm practically around him. Swallowing a little, Arthur stepped back, hand falling to his own side and Merlin straightened himself, biting his lip when he put pressure on his leg. 

“Your leg is bleeding again. You must have reopened the wound by the clumsy display earlier. See to it,” Arthur said and then turned and strode away, his cape swishing behind him.

Merlin stared at his retreating back, puzzled for a reason he didn’t understand. Arthur had noticed he was hurt and was advising him to see to it, after practically taking his head off earlier? Weird, very weird. Shaking his head, he bent down to collect the scattered vials. His leg would’ve to wait. Gaius awaited.

***

The harsh grunts and furious thuds of practice swords hitting armor filled the training ground. Arthur was in devastating form today. He had on only a red doublet, and was wielding a sword in each hand expertly and with deadly precision. “Again!” he shouted, readying himself in defensive position, sweat dripping down his neck. He shook his head, hair darkened to a dark blonde due to his furious workout flipping out of his eyes. 

“What crawled up his arse and died?” Leon asked Durnure, who was sitting on the edge of the training field, nursing his wounds most likely inflicted by the said arse.

“I don’t know,” Durnure said sullenly. “Just when I thought I was getting better, he handed me mine on a platter.”

Leon laughed aloud at that. “Have patience. Do you not see how much practice he does to be the way he is?”

“I know. I wanted to best him though. He doesn’t even know I exist!” Durnure wailed.

“And besting him will bring you what, his attention? You don’t want to hurt the princely ego brother. A lesson I learned early on,” Aglovale said with a smile. " i just want him to notice me," Durnure whispered, staring worshipfully at Arthur.

Leon shook his head at the pout the newest recruit was wearing and at his starstruck gaze. He too turned his attention to Arthur and stared. Something had happened today it seemed. Usually, Arthur was deadly- wanting the knights to do their very best each day and leading by example, but today he was just… _magnificent_. He watched three knights rush at Arthur, and the way he gracefully moved out of the way of one knight’s swipe, and ducked under the second, ramming his head into his stomach, and the third knight got the full blow of his sword in his face. By the time Arthur straightened, two knights were rolling on the floor in pain. He swiftly blocked the remaining knight’s attack, grabbing his sword arm, and turning with it so that the knight ended up with his arm twisted. Arthur then blocked his other hand, and twisted it too, till the knight cried out in pain and let his sword drop. Only then, did he let him go, the poor fellow cradling his arm as he fell down. Breathing heavily, Arthur bent down and gave the knights a hand, patting them on the back with a nod for each. “Training's over for today,” he said, looking around for his manservant, who hurried to give him a water-skin and a towel. Leon watched, waiting for Arthur to berate the boy as usual, but to his surprise, Arthur didn’t even seem to notice the boy still hovering around. Looked like Leon’s earlier thoughts were proving to be correct. Something had definitely happened today, and that was the reason Arthur was so preoccupied. Wondering at what it could be, that had Arthur so distracted, Leon made his way to the prince.

“Sire!” he called out. Arthur stopped and turned, giving him a half-smile. “Leon.” 

“The king requests your presence in the council chambers.” Arthur sighed loudly at that, wiping his face and rubbing the towel through his sweat-dampened locks. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, let him know that.” “Sire.” Leon said respectfully, and turned to go back.

“Wait, Leon.” Arthur looked hesitant, a look he had never seen on the Prince’s face before. “Has Gaius taken a new apprentice?”

“Gaius? I think so yes. A boy had accompanied him to the lower town this afternoon. Maybe that is who you mean?”

“Hmm… perhaps it is. Anyway, gratitude.” Arthur thanked him, and then swiftly strode away, his poor manservant running to keep up with him. 

Leon blinked at his retreating figure. That had been very, very strange. Something had definitely happened today and Leon was dying to find out what it was that could so divert the focus of Prince Arthur. Shaking his head at his own gossipy thoughts, he made his way to the council chambers, whistling under his breath along the way.


	7. Chapter 7

Life went on as usual in Camelot. Nobles were knighted, sorcerers were executed, enemies were conquered and allies were made.

Merlin had settled into a stationary life quite easily, to his own surprise, after living his entire life on the run. He always thought that his previous life had left him unsuitable to ever want to settle down in any place, or to even feel safe enough to do so. The irony of the matter was, he had chosen to settle in the most-feared kingdom of all, especially for the magically-inclined. 

He had made friends here, among the servants and the people of the lower town. He had befriended nearly all the orphans too, who were there in the lower town; he had quite a soft spot for them. People actually liked him and accepted him here. He even found a father-figure in Gaius, and had come to love the doddery old man as his own. Camelot was certainly not turning out to be as bad as he had always imagined. The only thing true to his imagination were the royal family- King Uther was as fearsome and ruthless, Prince Arthur was even more arrogant than the people said, and the Lady Morgana; well Merlin hadn’t actually met her yet. Gaius had not let him deliver anything in the castle after he had reported his run-in with prince prat to him. Merlin readily agreed with him on that matter. 

His magic was also increasing in leaps and bounds. It was much easier to control it these days, and it always felt ready to come to his aid at a moment’s notice. Merlin had read and memorized nearly half the book by now- so many spells for so many things, starting from the ordinary and mundane like ordering the broom to sweep and clothes to wash, right up to the extraordinary and magnificent- like turning himself into other animals, becoming invisible, manipulating the elements and teleportation. Merlin was fascinated; and determined too; he would master all the spells in the book, he would do it, he promised to himself. And after that, he would avenge his mother, and his kin. After all, he had a lot of people who needed avenging. 

ϗ ϗ ϗ

Prince Arthur had just returned from a successful treaty with a kingdom in the far north called Qarth, and there was a huge feast tonight in his honor. Merlin had been awed by all the work the servants managed to do in such a short time and that too without using magic- the castle had been transformed into an enchanting place. He went around, his mouth hanging slightly open as he marveled at the beauty of the castle. “Shut your mouth Merlin, you look like a fool, boy,” a passing Gaius had scolded sternly. Merlin merely grinned at his retreating back- he was too happy today to be offended. He would be attending his first feast ever, and it was going to be magnificent! He couldn’t wait for the evening to come.

“How do I look?” he asked Gaius in the evening, striking a pose. Gaius looked up from where he was bent over a book, and smiled at him. “Very handsome. Where did you get the neckerchief?”

“Oh this?” Merlin asked, stroking the fine material of his red neckerchief. “Taiga, the baker’s wife, has developed a fondness for me. She said I remind her of her son, and this belonged to him. I have half-dozen neckerchiefs she gifted me with. Said he didn’t wear them now, so I could use them.” He grinned at Gaius then, visibly excited. Gaius smiled at him affectionately. “What?” Merlin asked, a little self-conscious now. “Nothing. You just look… happy. I’ve never seen you smile this much in the months you’ve been here. It gladdens my heart to see that you haven’t lost that part of you.” Merlin smiled softly at that. “I’m also glad. It has all been because of you, Gaius. I cannot thank you enough.” “No need for that, young man. Now shoo- I’ve to get ready too.” Merlin laughed and went out.

He saw the servants whizzing about efficiently, running to and fro doing last minute preparations. The kitchen area had been banned to everyone- even Taiga wouldn’t have been able to get Merlin in there tonight. 

Grinning to himself, he made his way out of the castle, and to the lower town. “Merlin!” a cry went up as he approached the orphanage. Kids of nearly all ages ran out to greet him. Merlin smiled down at them fondly, and laughed as the youngest tried to climb up his legs. “Down Kayla. Tom don’t pull that- these are my new clothes! Megan dear, cheer up-“Merlin tried to say over the clamor. The kids relented and quieted down and pulled Merlin into the ramshackle building. The old woman who took care of the kids smiled toothily at Merlin, and sighing, Merlin handed over the money he had made in the last months acting as Gaius’s assistant. Greedy old bat, Merlin thought to himself, but looking at the eager faces around him, he didn’t have the heart to tell her anything. At least she provided them with a roof over their heads, greedy or not. Sighing to himself once again, he settled down to tell the kids stories about his travels and escapades.

ϗ ϗ ϗ

Arthur looked at himself in the mirror. He was looking quite handsome, he thought to himself, resplendent even. The Princess of Qarth had accompanied him back to Camelot and Arthur was supposed to entertain her. Damn his Father for putting him in that situation. Sighing to himself, he made his way to the great hall. Gwen was going to be serving Morgana tonight, and he wasn’t happy she would have to witness the immense flirting he was going to have to do with Princess Almena. Well, what the king wanted, the king got.

ϗ ϗ ϗ

Rushing and nearly tripping over his own feet, Merlin dashed into the castle at breakneck speed. He had gotten distracted at the orphanage and hadn’t realized that the feast had started. Cursing, he turned a corner and nearly brained himself. Soft music and tinkling laughter floated out at him from the open doors, and Merlin smiled again. His first feast! He entered quietly by the servant’s entrance, and looked around for Gaius. He spotted him in a throng of important looking nobles, and decided to stay where he was. Wow, everything seemed grander than his wildest imagination could ever construct. He leaned back on a pillar and glanced around. There was the Lady Morgana, looking ethereal in a pale blue gown. Prince Prat too was looking resplendent in his red jacket and slim coronet nestled in his shining blond hair. In fact, everyone seemed to be enchanted by him, as they were all flocking to him like birds to fresh meal. Merlin rolled his eyes at the scene. 

“He does seem to attract quite a crowd, doesn’t he?” a voice piped up next to him.

Surprised, Merlin turned around to see Gwen standing there, a tray in hand. She was gazing at Arthur dreamily. Merlin turned to look at him again, and saw the Princess WhatsHerName fawning over him and getting response of equal fervor back.

“Doesn’t that sicken you? The way he is flirting with every lady present here, especially with the Princess?”

“He’s the prince Merlin. He has duties to follow. He doesn’t like it, but he has to do it. I understand that.”

“Well I don’t,” Merlin said strongly. “When you love someone, it should be with your whole heart. It should be there for everyone to see. It shouldn’t be the way it is between you and Arthur.”

Gwen turned surprised eyes on him. “What do you know about what’s there between me and Arthur?”

“I know nothing, and I’m sorry if what I’m telling is offending you. But the thing about Love is, it should be felt. Deeply. Truly. It should be seen in the way a person looks at another, in the way they talk about another, in the way they hold that person, as if the whole world rests in their arms. That is what love is. I don’t think I could eve act the way he is, if I was in love with someone.” Saying that, Merlin left a bemused Gwen behind as he went to find Gaius. He had a feast to enjoy.


End file.
